“I’m so sick of the lies, you’re so annoying! I don’t understand why you stay with me if you’re constantly going to destroy my character!” said Analiz.
“What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? Why am I always wrong? Tell me what have I done now?” Charles screamed.
“Shut up! You’re going to wake the child.”
“Do I even care? Do I know it’s even mine?” Charles screamed even louder.
“Charles! How dare you say something like that? I’m so disappointed. I swear, how can you deny your own child?”
“How can I not? After all the creeping you’ve done around?”
Analiz didn’t know what to say. Tears started streaming in her eyes. She didn’t understand how her husband could doubt her in this way. Ever since they got together, all she has been was faithful. But he wouldn’t recognize it.
“I never creeped around. You’re the only one I love, and you should definitely know that. I’ve given up so much for us. You’re the one lying to me. Where have you been late at night? You say you’re working. If you’re working, and I’m there calling at 2 am, why can’t you pick up, or text me back?”
“Can’t use my phone on the job.” Charles said blatantly.
“What’s up with the random I love you texts if you can’t text on the job?”
“Uh…lunch break?”
“At 8am? Yeah right you freakin liar. I’m done.”
Analiz walked away, crying into her room. She went to go look at the baby that her husband doubted. How could he doubt that baby? That beautiful baby that looked exactly like him? What was he thinking? Who could be dong this to his brain? Charles never used to think like this. After pondering at the crib, she slowly walked to her welcoming bed, and just sank in. The soft pillows comforted her more than anyone ever could after that argument. Her tears slid down her caramel face. She then slowly closed her eyes, and let her dreams take her to another place.
“Hey Charles, what’s up hun?”
“Marie, Can you please go away? I’m not in the mood right now.”
Charles looked around the gloomy office. All the walls were white and gray, reminding him of him and Analiz's relationship at the moment. He didn’t understand why she would cheat on him. He loved her so much.
“Is the baby momma bothering you again?” Marie said.
“Not really, just you know…stuff. I don’t know. Our relationship is slowly falling, and it’s breaking my heart into pieces.” Charles felt his body getting hot.
“Well babe…you know I could always make you feel better. I know how to show you a good time,” Marie said in a seductive tone.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh…just I could show you a little something. Make you better.” Marie entered his cubicle and began to approach him, stroking his hair softly.
“Marie, don’t try this on me. Seriously. I’ve heard about you. You will ruin me.”
“No I won’t. I’ll just make you better sexy.” She slowly put her hand on top of his and began to massage his hand. Charles didn’t know what to think. His mind was racing like he was in a marathon, and he began to get sweaty. So many things were running across his mind at one moment.
“Really Charles? Her. Marie of all people? Really Charles? I can’t believe you. I came here to surprise you. And then you do this to me? And Marie? The girl I hate most of all, that hates me? That has always been trying to ruin us? Really?” said Alaniz. She came to his job to surprise him, and make him feel better. But instead she was met with this girl, Marie that she hated. Marie always wanted the worse for Charles and Analiz, because she loved Charles since High School, but Charles never wanted her.
“Alaniz…I didn’t do anything…she’s the one who won’t leave me alone.” Charles cried.
“Charles. You KNOW how I feel about this bitch.”
“Babe, you know I told you I don’t mess with this girl! She’s always trying to get on me,” Charles yelled, as Marie stood in the back chuckling.
“Why do I find you with your hand in hers?”
“She did this hun!”
“Oh hello Analiz. Nice to meet you again. Your “husband” said he’s sick f you. And he needs me. I’m trying to help him out right now, so can you please go hun? Shoo shoo, like your husband is doing to you. Shoo cutie. Said Marie, laughing.
“I will. HAPPILY.” Analiz said. Tears were marching down her face. All this time he thought she was cheating, but he was the one doing it. All she could think of is why. What has she done? What’s so good about Marie? She looked like a burnt piece of crap. All Analiz could think about was going to her lawyer and filing for divorce. Her marriage just ended, her child was only 7 months, and she didn’t know what to do. Her life was going down a whirlwind hole of never ending dismay, all because of a girl that hated her guts, and never ever wanted her good.
Reflection
Due to the feedback I received in this workshop, I now know exactly what I need to do to improve my story. I need to give more information in the beginning about the setting, because I didn’t do that, and without giving enough information about the setting to the reader, their mind will probably wander in many different places, when I want their mind to be in one place. Another thing that I need to work on is character description. In my story I didn’t provide enough description for the characters, and I didn’t really clearly indicate who was talking during the dialogue, so I really confused the readers. The last thing I need to work on is introducing the conflict better because the readers had no idea why one thought the other was cheating, and that doesn’t point the reader into the correct direction.
My overall goal with this peace is to have people learn the lesson that it’s not good to just automatically assume things, and I want the reader to learn to forgive, and also have a new perspective on cheating. Everyone knows that cheating is bad, but if you think someone is cheating; don’t automatically assume they are until you know all the details, because that can ruin your relationship forever. I also wanted to teach them to not automatically assume things because this can lead you down a bad road as well. When you don’t know all of the facts, it’s never good to just preach what you feel or think.
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